My biggest fear

Fear is something that can either enable someone or paralyze them. I fear things in my life, but my biggest fear is the idea that I could go through my whole life and never make a difference in the World. Having lived my life and not have an impact on anyone around me would seem like a whole life wasted.

I live my life to the fullest. I hope to create some positive influences on those around me. I consider my life as a beacon that I hope guides people in some direction. I do not wish for everyone to be just like me, what I wish in the World is that each person questions their beliefs in life. If everyone questions their own beliefs we might all have a greater understanding of those outside our own beliefs.

Growing up Pentecostal I can attest to this fact from experience. I grew up fearing homosexuality. They had an agenda, they were going to try to make me gay too. They are bad, they promote disease with their lifestyle, the list goes on. For many years I held true to these beliefs. I never questioned them. I had some extreme low points in my life and began to question my beliefs. I saw gays in a whole new light. I for the first time saw the humanity in everyone. I began to really question my faith and my beliefs and realized they did not align with my internal dialogue. At that point I rejected them and realized that I believed the way I did because I was told to think that way.

If the only difference I make in the World is that everyone I meet questions their beliefs and asks themselves if they can ethically uphold those beliefs, I have made a difference. And that would diminish my fears of ordinary life.


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