Several times in my adult life, my dad disappears for months, sometimes even years at a time. Several years ago I found him living about 6 blocks from me in South Seattle. My dad was working for the City of Seattle as a maintenance mechanic. He lived there during the weeks he worked and went home to his whatever he calls the woman he is sleazing around with at the time, when he wasn’t working. I invited him to my first big birthday bash since I had moved to Seattle. I had a ton of friends planning on going. I had planned it at my favorite new bar, Jules Mae Saloon. The bartenders loved me and always kept my drinks full.
The day before my party a coworker walks up to me and hands me a plastic bag with something in it. He told me that it was a gift to him, but he would never ever ever use it, but knew that I would have a riot with it. I opened it up and it was an apron with this ginormous penis and hair ballsac on it. He knows me so well. I looked at him and told him I was going to wear it to the bar the next night, he almost passed out.
Anytime I plan or attend a get together, chaos ensues. After a ton of loud drinking, laughing and revelry the apron came out. I proceeded to “hump” anything that stood still long enough.
Ok so my poor dad was not prepared for this chaos. He was totally speechless all night. My friends rocked this party with me. I had my party there for several years, and had many other parties and get togethers there. I do not know many other places where you can behave like this and not get tossed out in the street!
To top off the whole night, my friend Kevin decided it was time for a birthday flash. I should mention that you can almost convince me to do anything if you lead me to believe that it will be funny! It didn’t take much convincing on his part. I looked down the table and my dad was awol! Great this is the perfect time to flash the boys! Suddenly Kevin hollers out, “DUDE!, YOU JUST FLASHED YOUR DAD!!!!” My dad was sitting at the other end of the table but had leaned back so he was out of my direct line of site. Yes sir, I certainly did flash my dad, but I think that was probably the least of his shock for that night. My roommate asked him at the end of the night if he was ever going to party with us again? He just looked down shook his head and quietly croaked out “probably not!” And that my friends is how to get your parents to let you live life your way and never correct you as an adult.