Optimism is a funny thing. Most of us have moments of up and down emotionally, yet some seem to be more down then up. I am one of those up people, unless life has dealt me an unfair hand. Well I know that life deals an unfair hand to everyone almost daily, but some things seem like this huge vast mountain that one cannot climb. I have at times felt defeated, I cannot hide that nor will I deny it. Yet most of the time I feel as though it is simply how life is and you have to muck through it. I think for me those moments I feel defeated are when I am unable to protect or support my kids by myself. For example when I was losing my last rental, I could not find anything to rent and I knew that I needed to put my kids first. I sent them to friends to live. This was not ideal for me at all. I hated the idea of someone else raising my kids for me. At the same time the realization that, if I cannot help myself, how can I help them, comes to reality.
In my worst moments and deepest depression it is always my kids that are my driving force. They are my responsibility and I do not feel right to put that onto someone else. Many times while they were growing up I have struggled. Most of the time it was money or the divorce that caused my issues. As I slip into moments of depression, I always find that internal determination. My strength sometimes hides in times of trials, I think because I get so overwhelmed at what to do, that I forget how strong I really am. I know I am strong, yet I am certain that life has dealt me some serious blows in recent years.
Optimism is the one thing that I can always count on. It take energy to be up all the time, but being down all the time drains you. I am convinced that the more optimism you hold onto the more energy you will have. As I sit on my porch in the sun, I am drawn to the sheer awesomeness of being alive. I am happy, in pain but very happy. I want to enjoy everyday for the rest of my life as though it may be my last. Keeping optimistic is often hard and does not come naturally, yet I believe it is essential. Keeping oneself on an uplift allows the body and soul to recharge with that up feeling. In the beginning it is tiresome to always smile, but eventually it becomes nature and you never think twice about it. I wish I had kept these things in mind in past travesties. Things are going to be alright. It is not the end of the world, nor is your life or lifestyle over. It is simply a roadblock in the game of life. So go to Jail, do not pass go, do not collect $200 but eventually you will be back on track again.
This is one of those things that you have to revisit in your mind over and over again, until it becomes natural. Things happen, not just to you, but to most people. The way you handle the situation is what you will reap later in life. I for one have decided that being optimistic is much more beneficial than being angry. So I raise a toast to those that can remain up in times of trials. I still struggle but I am getting to that point.