Those bums are marathon runners! Athletes I tell you.


Back in the day, around 2000, I partied a lot.  Oh hell who am I kidding I still do, but not as wild as I once was.  When I first separated from my husband, I had no single friends.  I tried to go out with my attached girlfriends, but this was a bore.  Most were too busy worrying about their mates or their kids.  On friend was too busy picking up men that I had to save her from herself so often that I stopped letting her know when and where I was going out.  Going out alone was my preference.  I had a blast and made a ton of new friends.

A few years later I lived with some girlfriends and we would go out randomly.  We were all single at that time.  At one point I went out with this particular friend to Tacoma.  I had been to clubs up there probably a total of twice in my life.  We had a good time met some people and she hooked up with a guy that I originally was hooking up with.  Hey you can’t win them all.  I was too drunk to drive so he was going to. We had the bright idea of not going back to her mom’s house, she lived there at the time, with this strange man.  So I said fine, find a hotel, but go get the car my feet are  killing me.  So they off and got the car and as I was heading to the car the guy told me to flash that bum, he might like a good show.  Ok so I have this weakness, if you tell me something is funny, I am most definitely going to do it.  So telling me that it would be funny to flash that bum meant, hell yeah I am totally doing that.  Ok, major bad plan.   The bum jumped up off the curb and came after me.  I ran all the way down the street to where they moved the car.  Seriously I had no idea bum could run so fast!

So after I narrowly escape, my companions were not much help, considering they were laughing and not letting me in the car, we head off to find a hotel.  I have never tried to find a cheap hotel in my life.  This was an adventure all on its own.  We drove all over Tacoma and said to hell with it we might find one closer to Puyallup, where her mom lived.  We ended up driving all the way to her place and no hotel.  So we drove back.  It was the point of ridiculous.  We didn’t dare sleep in the car, I didn’t want sex juices in my back seat.  So we found this sleazy, and I mean SLEAZY hotel right across from the Pink Elephant Carwash.  $5o a night.  Ok so I paid and we all snuck in.  I soon found out why it was so cheap.  OMG, this was an experience to remember.

We all walk in.  I just want to sleep at this point.  Those two start going at it on the bed, which would later be a decisively bad choice.  I decided to go to the bathroom and then sleep on the floor. Also two decidedly bad decisions.  The shower had a used wet towel on the floor and old used soap.  I hovered above the toilet trying not to touch anything.  I then went to lay down on the floor, which had a distinct sticky/tacky feeling like none I have ever experienced before. Oh and the carpet smelled mildewy.  Ok not happening. I tried sleeping in the chair but that was worse than the floor.  I ended up catching an hour or two in my car.  I came back at dawn to get them out of the room that was only supposed to have me in it.  As we were trying to gather things up, the guy was missing a sock.  I suggested maybe it fell under the bed.  So we looked and we found, a dirty sock, not his, a bra, not either of ours, a pair of panties with a nasty stain in them, also not ours.  Ok so now I am sooooo very glad to have actually spent the night in the car.  I was so completely grossed out, that no matter what, I will pay $100 and no less a night for a hotel room.

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