Optimalization!


Ok I have no idea if that is a word.  It should be if it is not!  Finding your optimum anything requires you to know yourself.  I am finding that the things I know now, I wish I would have learned when I was 20 or so.  Things like, a diet of Pizza, beer, McDonald’s, Denny’s and Hamburger Helper is going to make you fat and unhealthy.  It was novel when I was first on my own.  I grew up in an area where Domino’s did not deliver, and nothing was really nearby. My mom made every meal from mostly scratch.  So upon moving out on my own, I had the power to determine everything about my life.  Pizza and beer was a staple.  I worked in restaurants so they were a mainstay as well.

Now I make more money, live more simplified and enjoy life so much more.  I am currently struggling financially, but that will pass, I am certain.  Or I will learn to give something else up.  Either way, I am determined that life is meant to be lived, so live it! I started this blog awhile back.  I went through a tragic breakup since I saved the draft, so pardon me if it gets off base.  It has now been a week, I have gone through the phases of anger, despair and now onto healing.  So maybe this will lighten up as I go along.

I was noticing yesterday that my pants were starting to get looser.  This means that without trying I am starting to shed some weight.  I love that.  It helps that I only buy real food and skip processed most of the time.  Our bodies need to be able to recognize food.  Processed foods are mostly chemicals that were once food substances realigned to become some other component that our bodies often do not recognize.  Just today after a complete week of detox, I made up a box of mashed potatoes. (I pulled my hamstring Friday, so I am lazy, depressed and in pain, sometimes junk food helps.)  About 10 minutes after I ate it my stomach revolted. Seriously, I got camps and felt nauseated.  I had to lay down for a bit to get it settled.

As I was finally accepting that I was again single, I came to the realization that it was not about loss but about freedom.  My life has been on hold for years.  That happens when you have kids.  I went to grad school with the specific intent on joining the Peace Corps.  It was on my radar.  As soon as my kids were done with school I was out of here on some great adventure.  I met my partner, who was the only partner I have ever had with kids.  I decided that I could put off the Peace Corps for a few years until he was able to join me.  That was the plan, he was interested in doing it.  That backed my plans up by 6 years.  So I was just biding my time.  It may sound strange, but my dreams have always come last in my life.  It is a fact when you are a parent.  Your kids come first.

As I was thinking about my next steps, I applied for jobs all across the country, and then thought about a bike ride across the nation.  Something that I would love to do and with the proper support would do.  The opportunity just knocked on my door.  We shall see if the opportunity fits into the plans.  While I was working though my depression, I realized that I can start my application process for the Peace Corps.  Why did I suddenly forget that dream?  Maybe my depression got a stronger hold on me than I had ever imagined.  Optimizing one’s life should always include the prospect of achieving one’s dreams.  Your dreams are just as valid as your responsibility.  Just because responsibility takes a greater stance, does not mean you have to abandon your dreams.

I started the application, it is probably a 40 hour process to complete.  I am about a third of the way through it.  I am going to slowly push my way along and get things done with passion and with accuracy.  I am looking forward to the next chapters in my life.  I will be sharing the process and the adventure when I can as it occurs.  Be it the biking across the country or the joining of the Peace Corps, I invite you to join me in one of the greatest adventures of my life.  Maybe you too, will be inspired to follow your dreams and optimize your life in the process.

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