After returning from West Africa and having my assignment in the Peace Corps terminated, I have felt lost. Similar to the time after I returned from my bike ride and had to figure out where to live and how to support myself. I have lived off my settlement for the last two years off and on.
It did not help that the home I came back to was a living hell. In three days we are leaving and I hope to never set foot in this town again. We are city kids, we belong in a city, not in the burbs. I hope that the move will make it feel more like home. The cooler weather is helping some too.
I have been debating with myself since knowing my termination date. I definitely want to go back, to Africa if possible. I also want to help Richard build up a support system. I have looked into the positions open and found a few in Africa that were Agriculture related. One specifically is developing sustainable urban agriculture. I really want this positions. The benefit with having already been accepted, I have the ability to state my choice in location and jobs.
This has lifted my spirits and helped to refocus my passion. I am looking into taking French lessons and obtaining my Master Composter and Gardener certifications. I also need to read upon urban farming methods in poor soil conditions. I am finding my passion rekindled. I look forward to putting my fingers in the dirt again. I am excited to really embrace my passions. Even though I was excited to teach science, this has me elevated to ecstatic and ready to research a new language and new soil conditions.
In the end, even if I do not get assigned to this spot, the fact that I found my passions again is enough. To know that I can still find excitement and joy is something that I have been hoping to feel. To know that no matter what obstacles come into my path, I can find solutions and embrace joy and life once again.