I love Richard. He is the best. When we fight it is usually because we are both so drunk we cannot figure out the intention of what the other is saying. I told him that once, he has not gotten that drunk since I mentioned it. That is the most important thing in our relationship, we listen to each other. He tells me that I am doing something that bothers him, and I try to change it. I tell him he does something hurtful and he tries to change it.
So I like to live life on the edge. I really do not believe in living conventionally. You can see it with my food choices, my lifestyle, my education, you can see it in almost everything that I do. My relationship is no different. It is unconventional. I left two summers ago to bike across the country. Last summer I left with the Peace Corps, technically I should still be gone, but Ebola happens. I have just accepted a new position with the Peace Corps to work on environmental education in Jamaica. I am so excited to be doing something that I am so much more passionate about.
So what happens to my relationship when I leave and come back all the time? Well for many this would be a deal breaker, but for us it is akin to having a spouse serving in the military abroad. You just kind of go with it. Richard was asked last week why he put up with me running away so much? His response was the best ever. He told me after I made him two sandwiches before I went to bed Tuesday night since he had to work at midnight, this is what love looks like. I had forgotten that I left him a little note with his sandwiches. I used to leave them on his car or truck back when he worked strange hours. He keeps the notes, every last one. I guess maybe when he feels lonely he digs them out. He told his co-worker that he puts up with my leaving because he is not a dream killer. He also told them that this was what love looks like. He said he supports me because I have always supported him. It is not about finances, but it is about knowing that you have someone and something to come back to. I cannot imagine doing the things that I do and not having a place to come back to. I would likely never come back if there was nothing to come back to.
I am lucky, I get to live my life the way I want to now. It was not always that way, but I have finally lived my dreams. It sounds selfish, I know, but if he did not have obligations to support his children, I would support his treks around the World as well, or we would do them together. Either way, this is what love looks like. There is not guarantee that I will come back, there is no guarantee I will still be here when his time for dreams comes, but love is not expectant. Love just simply is, in the moment, it is.