As the anticipation builds, I am at this point of fighting myself. When I left for Liberia I had packed and repacked 12 times by this point. The only thing I have done this far is throw a few things in the suitcase that I will not be using here. I really want to pack, but I know that there are things that I will still need to use here. I am trying hard to wait until February 15 to actually pack one suitcase. I have ordered a whole new wardrobe and still am in need of a few pieces. I will keep looking and hope I can secure the items I feel would top off my wardrobe before my departure.
I have to fight myself daily not to focus so much on a departure that is a month and a half away. I still have to live in the now. That, for me, is the hardest part. To stay grounded and focused in the now. When I left for Liberia I had so much else happening right at the same time that even though I was focused in the future I was grounded in the present. In fact there was so much change that had happened that I was focused on the changes at home rather than the present in Africa. In retrospect, the evacuation probably secured my home life for me.
Having moved into a much more suitable neighborhood for us has helped tremendously. In fact this weekend a new friend invited us to go see her punk band play at a nearby bar. Richard made many friends there, I was sober and embarrassed that as the only sober person I broke the only glass all night. Funny how that happened. I think going out for the first time since we moved to California was a very good move. It gave us an outlet and we got to meet new people. The door girl told us to come back for Karaoke that she runs twice a week. We might go do that.
We also took Richard’s daughters bowling and next time they come up we will take them skating. Just a way to get out forces you to become social and I have been anti-social for far too long. It felt great to get out this weekend.