In the last week I think I have finally found my place. I am starting to see people and recognize them. I still am not so good with names, but that will soon come. I have also had a few “workshops” and meetings to try to get a feeling of doing something. Anything is better than nothing. I have also figured out why I never really see many women in this community. It seem many work and then come home to care for the children. I see many men and believe me I get proposed to at least once day. I have actually been avoiding the cross roads at night due to this fact.
In the first few months of site placement there is a ton of down time. You get to know how to get around, you meet the community and know who to go to for what issues. You also learn where to shop and spend a ton of time wondering how can I make a difference when people do not really talk to me. Then those moments of depression and feelings of hopelessness kind of weigh you down a bit. Then you suddenly decide to do a project, and people actually show up. Then you realize that maybe more projects would benefit you and them. And suddenly the whole world looks beautiful again, because you have seen a way to move forward.
Then you have a community meeting and you meet people who you were told were not so active in the community and not interested in developing it. And you know what, that information was really wrong. And then you have those people really want to discuss ways to make the community better. And you find that there is always hope, you just have to hold on a little longer until it finds you. And then this group of people come together and discuss some important issues in the community and something wonderful happens. A new idea is born and a community event may be in the works soon. And then you go home and lay down and smile until you fall asleep.
This is when you know you have finally found your place.